love luv n:
by Olive Hue
Summary: Mikoto moves to Lindblum and falls for a young thief named Blank. But will she ever find out who he really is? Why does he look the way he does?
1. Chapter 1

AS ALWAYS, Final Fantasy IX, its characters, and its elements do not belong me, but the all-powerful Squaresoft. If they were in my possession, I'd be rollin' in the dough, let me tell ya!  
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love (`luv) n:  
By Trick Sparrow  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
No matter how many times Zidane had told me, I was certain that I did not fit in here. In fact, I was beginning to think that bringing me to Lindblum was merely a practical joke on his part. People on the street would stare at me, whisper to each other, and ask me irritating questions. Why my brother refused take me back to the Black Mage village was beyond me. I simply stood out.  
  
Quite frankly, if it had been up to me, I would still be on Terra, in my familiar home in Bran Bal. It was comfortable, reassuring. But thanks to Kuja, that is no longer a possibility. Arrogant fool. Why couldn't he have found some other way to assert his independence?  
  
Zidane... you're as difficult as our older brother sometimes.  
  
"Hey, if it isn't Tribal's little sis! Glad to finally meet you!"  
  
I looked up from sorting and cataloguing books at the Lindblum library (Zidane thought it was the perfect job for me. I'll get him someday.) to see a strange figure standing before me. He was short young man of about seventeen, two years older than I, and his flaming red hair was decidedly not his most outstanding feature. He had a belt of some sort around his head, drooping low enough to prevent one from looking in his eyes. But the most unusual thing about him was his skin: mismatched and varying in color, almost... crudely sewn together. Still, there was something warm and friendly about his lopsided grin that made me instantly relaxed.  
  
I blinked, my tail thrashing in confusion. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" I tried asking politely.  
  
The man laughed, a pleasant, easy laugh. "Oh, whoops, I didn't even introduce myself. Name's Blank, your brother Zidane told me you were living here. Your family trait--" He gestured to my wildly swishing tail, "--gave you away."  
  
"I'm Mikoto. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Blank," I said, only to hear another laugh.  
  
"No, it's just Blank." He smiled. "Mikoto, huh? That's kinda pretty."  
  
Suddenly I realized Zidane had pretty good taste in friends.  
  
  
  
"So when did you get here, anyway?" Blank asked as we rode in the aircab to the Business District, where my embarrassingly small apartment was located. He had insisted that he accompany me home after my shift was over, standing by his claim that "Lindblum after dark is no place for a defenseless Genome."  
  
"Four days ago," I replied, tearing my eyes from the window as the cab flew over the city. Though Bran Bal had been a highly advanced establishment, I still could not hide my fascination with the countless airships that flooded the skies over Lindblum.  
  
"And Zidane left, just like that?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Some bro. If he was here right now, I'd kick him from here to Daguerreo."  
  
I smiled faintly. "At least someone shares my intentions."  
  
He leaned toward me intently, apparently studying my features. How such a thing was possible for him with that belt covering his eyes was hard to guess. "Was that a smile I just saw? You really should do that more often."  
  
I shrugged, letting my gaze return to the view out the windows. "Smiling was unnecessary in Bran Bal."  
  
His head cocked to one side. "What was it like on Terra, anyway?"  
  
"Very orderly," I replied. "Nothing was out of place. Even the water was predictable. Everything had a logic to it." I leaned back, sighing. "Things are so much different on Gaia. This city, the people, the whole world is... illogical."  
  
I looked up at Blank to see him smiling. "God knows you're not the only one who's realized that." The aircab came to a stop, and he stood up, holding out his hand. "Shall we?"  
  
I placed my hand tentatively in his, and we stepped out of the cab. After a few short blocks, we were standing outside my apartment building.  
  
"Thank you for walking me home, Blank," I said, attempting another smile.  
  
This seemed to please him immensely. "Don't mention it, Mikoto. It was *great* meeting you." He hesitated. "What are you doing tomorrow?"  
  
I stared dumbly at him, then realized what he was implying. "Tomorrow is Saturday, so I don't have to work. I suppose I am not doing anything."  
  
Blank bit his bottom lip. "Do you... Would you like to meet the rest of the Tantalus gang? We just got finished rebuilding our headquarters, and it looks great. I'm sure Marcus, Cinna, and the boss would really like you."  
  
I smiled again, genuine this time. "That would be nice, Blank."  
  
"So you will?" He grinned in refief. "Okay, I'll come over tomorrow at ten. Unless--" He trailed off, glancing askance of me.  
  
"Ten o'clock is fine."  
  
"All right, I'll see you then!" He took my hand awkwardly in his and pressed his lips against it. "Good night, Mikoto."  
  
My eyes widened as he released my hand. Human behavior was such a strange thing. Still, I would be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed it. I shook my head, dazed. "Good night, Blank."  
  
He waited for me to open the door to the apartment building before he stepped off the stoop and began walking down the street, back to the aircab station. He stopped once to wave.  
  
Waving back, I finally turned and headed up the stairs to unlock my apartment door. Once inside, I sat down on the windowsill overlooking the street, hoping Blank was still in sight. Sure enough, the red-haired young man was just entering the station. I craned my neck to watch him as he disappeared inside.  
  
He was an odd human; probably one of the oddest I had ever met. He said and did unusual things, and he certainly was not the most ordinary-looking human I'd seen. But he had one of those personalities that made one feel lucky that one knew him.  
  
In any case, Zidane would be happy that I had become friends with someone he was close to. I decided to write him a letter. After getting a sheet of paper and a feather pen from my battered desk, I sat down at the window and began to write.  
  
  
:::Dear Zidane,  
  
I thought you might like to hear from your sister, whom you dumped out here in "the big world". You will be pleased to know that I am not completely alone in Lindblum. Today I met one of your closest friends, Blank, who promised he would take me to meet the rest of Tantalus tomorrow. Blank is... strange, I must say. But he is also very warm and affectionate. I can see why you have a friend like him.  
  
I would keep writing, but I must deliver this letter before the moogle downstairs goes to sleep. Besides, I must go to bed now if I am to be ready when Blank comes to meet me tomorrow.  
  
Your little sister,  
Miki:::  
  
I stood up, stretching, and hurried downstairs to give the letter to the little animal. It was just getting ready to turn in for the night. "Excuse me?"  
  
The moogle looked up at me. "Can I help you, kupo?"  
  
"Yes," I said, handing it my letter. "Will you please deliver this to Zidane Tribal in Alexandria?"  
  
It nodded excitedly, its red pompom violently bobbing. "Master Zidane! Yes, of course, kupo!"  
  
I thanked the moogle and went back to my apartment upstairs. After I had finished changing into my nightclothes, brushing my teeth, and combing out my hair and my tail, (so many rituals one must perform before going to sleep) I crawled underneath my covers and closed my eyes.  
  
Inexorably, my thoughts returned to Blank. Why was I thinking about him so often? He was just a human, just like Garnet, Eiko, Steiner, and Amarant. Why was he any different? I continually asked myself this question as I drifted off to sleep, the image of Blank's unsymmetrical smile forming in my head.  
  
  
  
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Hey, this is pretty fun, writing about characters who aren't even playable. I can bend them any way I want, and it won't make them out of character!  
-Sparrow 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, what do you know, I still don't own Final Fantasy IX, and I never will.  
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love (`luv) n:  
By Trick Sparrow  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
I woke up at seven-thirty the next morning, springing instantly out of bed. I bathed, shaved my legs, nicking myself in the process, brushed my hair and tail furiously, and tried to decide what to wear. My mind would not focus. Should I wear a blue sleeveless dress or a yellow blouse and jeans? Finally I decided on a light green tanktop and a khaki skirt. Really, such indecisiveness was out of character for me.  
  
I slid on a pair of sandals, grabbed my purse, and was racing to the door when a knock suddenly sounded on the other side. I opened it wide to see Blank standing outside waiting for me. He was wearing a light grey, long-sleeved shirt and pair of black jeans.  
  
He smiled bashfully. "I couldn't wait outside, so I asked the manager which apartment was yours. You look nice," he added.  
  
"Thank you." I closed the door behind us and inserted the key to lock it. As we headed down the stairs, the moogle came racing up to me.  
  
"Kupo! I have a letter for Miss Mikoto!" it cried, brandishing an envelope for me to see. "It's from Master Zidane!"  
  
I frowned, taking the letter from its furry paws. "That was quick," I said, looking up at Blank. "He must have written me back right after he got my letter."  
  
I nodded my thanks to the moogle as we left the apartment. At Blank's urging, I tore open the envelope and began to read it aloud.  
  
  
:::Dear Miki,  
  
It's great to hear from you. I've been waiting for a letter from you, but I figured you were still adjusting to life in Lindblum. I'm really glad you got a chance to meet Blank. He's a great guy, just don't let him make any moves on you, or I'll come there personally and punch his lights out.  
  
  
"Hey!"  
  
  
I'd really like to visit you all, but Dagger wants me to help her, Vivi, and Rusty to rebuild Alexandria. Who am I to argue with my canary? But I'll come see you as soon as I can.  
  
Your Big Bro,  
Zidane:::  
  
  
I smiled in amusement to see Blank fuming with indignation. "I'm really not that kinda guy," he said defensively.  
  
I patted his arm reassuringly. "I believe you," I said, tucking the letter into my purse. I tried to ignore the feel of the stitches in his mismatched skin.  
  
"Man," he said, laughing. "Sounds like Dagger's got him whipped pretty good. Oh well, at least he loves her."  
  
I looked up at him, puzzled. "What is love, Blank?"  
  
He whipped his head around to face me, taken aback by my apparently bold question. "Well, it's sort of hard to explain. It's a warm attachment to someone or something. No, that's not right." He put a hand to his chin in deep thought. "It's more of a strong affection."  
  
I frowned. "But that could cover a very wide range of things. By your definition, I could very well love you."  
  
"Uhhh, see," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Okay, bad example. God, how do I explain this? When you... when you love someone, you have an unselfish devotion to them. You cherish that person more than anything in the world, despite any imperfections they might have." He took a deep breath. "There, does that satisfy you?"  
  
I nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose."  
  
  
  
Outside the door to Tantalus headquarters, Blank paused. "You might think these people are weird, but don't worry. They're all stand-up guys."  
  
Confused by his description, I merely nodded. As he opened the door for me, I stepped inside to see a large clubhouse, with a large table in the middle and some couches and a desk to one side. In another corner there was a platform reachable by a ladder, which held a number of beds. Outside the enormous window, I could see the large clock that overlooked the Theater District. The room occupied a group of curious individuals.  
  
Blank came inside behind me. "Guys, I'd like you to meet Mikoto, Zidane's kid sister."  
  
The group looked up in surprise. The nearest of them, a man with a bandana around his head, came over to us and smiled, revealing a pair of pointy fangs. "I didn't know Zidane had a sister. I'm Marcus. Pleased to meet you!" He held out his hand.  
  
Blank nudged me, and I took Marcus's hand. He pumped it up and down vigorously.  
  
As my escort led me by the small of my back over to the table, the others stood up to greet me. A strange, pudgy individual with a pig-like snout grinned, shaking my hand as well. "Jeez, if I'da known Zidane had a cute sister, I would have--"  
  
"Cinna, shut up!" shouted Blank angrily, yanking my hand out of his. The creature known as Cinna blinked at him, surprised by his friend's brutal actions.  
  
A large, intimidating person I would definitely not call human slapped my back rather painfully. He had a feline face and ears, and was sporting a pair of aviator goggles. "Name's Baku! Great to meetcha, kid! I'm surprised, to say the least."  
  
"It is very nice to meet you all," I said, feeling vaguely out of place.  
  
Blank turned to Baku. "Hey, boss, where are Zenero, Benero, and Genero? I wanted Mikoto to meet them."  
  
"They went to help Regent Cid on the construction of a new airship." He laughed boisterously. "Ever since that Kuja guy was killed, and the world was saved an' all, the regent has really started to trust us."  
  
I looked down at my feet, my thoughts turning to Kuja. If my older brother had not gotten his head filled with greed and lust for power, he might be with me today. Blank noticed my quiet musing and put a hand on my shoulder, smiling sympathetically.  
  
My cheeks began to grow hot, and I frowned in alarm. *This is strange,* I thought. *What is wrong with me?*  
  
Blank looked at me with concern. "What's the matter?"  
  
"I... I am not sure," I said, placing a hand on my face. "There is an abnormal amount of blood flowing in my cheeks." I turned to see him stifling a smile. "Just what is so humorous?"  
  
"This strange phenomenon is known as 'blushing'," he said, grinning. "People blush when they're embarrassed, or..." He trailed off, clearing his throat. "Boy, Zidane said you weren't too accustomed to things on Gaia, but I had no idea."  
  
"A veritable 'fish out of water', Blank?" I said, irritated.  
  
"Yeah, exactly." He then noticed my annoyance. "No, I mean, I didn't mean-- Well, I kinda did, but not--" He hung his head, sighing. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."  
  
"You are forgiven," I said, permitting myself a small smile.  
  
"It's just..." He grinned his lopsided grin. "I think it's sort of cute how innocent you are."  
  
The blood flow in my face increased even more, and I could feel my heart pounding considerably. *What is this strange sensation?* I thought. *I have never felt this way before. Perhaps it is something in the air on Gaia... But why does it occur only when I am around Blank?*  
  
The sound of raucous singing interrupted my thoughts. I looked up sharply at Cinna, who was the source of this bizarre racket.  
  
"I been really try-yin', baby," he sang, "tryin' to hoold back the feelin' for sooo long! And if you feel--"  
  
Blank took a menacing step toward him, his fist raised. "I'm warning you, man..."  
  
Cinna closed his mouth abruptly.  
  
"You get used to his lack of tact," said Blank, turning toward me again. "Don't worry about him, Mikoto."  
  
I smiled up at him. "My closest friends call me Miki."  
  
"And would I be qualified as one of them?" he asked, beaming.  
  
"You might," I replied, "blushing" again as his grin grew wider.  
  
  
  
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Awww, cute!  
-Sparrow 


	3. Chapter 3

If you look closely at the jewel case that Final Fantasy IX comes in, you will clearly see that it does not belong to me.  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
love (`luv) n:  
By Trick Sparrow  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
It is strange how you forget how much time has passed when you are occupied constantly, or as Blank would say, "Time flies when you're having fun." It has been two months since I met him, and even though I would never have thought twice about him if I had not known he was Zidane's friend, I cannot imagine what living in Lindblum would be like without him.  
  
"Come on, Miki, I'm not going to wait down here in the foyer all night!"  
  
I quickly locked my apartment door and hurried down the stairs to see Blank waiting, less than patiently, by the front door. He adjusted the leather belt around his head quickly and held out his arm.  
  
Linking my arm in his, I wondered why he wore that belt, and why he always kept his eyes covered. Suddenly I realized I knew very little about him.  
  
I shook my head, dispelling my disconcerting thoughts. "Blank, where are we going? You told me nothing about your plans."  
  
"*Our* plans," he said, correcting me. "You'll see when we get there."  
  
He led me to the aircab station, where we were flown to Lindblum castle. Once we stepped out, he ushered me to the airstation, where countless ships were docked, and where Regent Cid Fabool was waiting. I looked up questioningly at Blank, and he just smiled.  
  
"Ah, I was wondering when you two would get here," said the regent. "Follow me."  
  
As we followed Cid through the catwalks of the airstation, I grew increasingly confused. Blank was known to do some notably unexpected things, but never something as puzzling as this. I truly had no idea what he was planning.  
  
We suddenly stopped walking, and Blank squeezed my hand. "Look up, Miki," he said, grinning.  
  
I obeyed, and gasped in surprise to see an enormous airship tethered to the catwalk. It was at least sixty feet long, and its shape reminded me somehow of a gondola, with intricate carvings along the rails and around the bow. Benches lined the deck, and the captain's cabin was tucked away in the back.   
  
"My goodness!" I exclaimed. "It's simply beautiful!"  
  
Regent Cid beamed with pride. "She's my latest airship, the Bella Piccola. It means 'Beautiful Girl'."  
  
"That was my idea," Blank whispered, nudging me.  
  
"I designed this craft as sort of a cruise ship for couples," Cid continued, clearly pleased by my reaction. "A love boat, if you will. And you two are about to be the first official passengers on her maiden voyage."  
  
My excitement grew unbearable. I looked from Blank to Cid, then to Blank again. "Blank, why--?"  
  
He smiled. "I know how much you like airships, so I asked Cid for a favor. A *very big* favor."  
  
"He owes me big this time," said the regent, smirking.  
  
I could restrain myself no longer. "Blank, this is too much!" I cried, throwing my arms around him tightly.   
  
I felt his own arms encircle me, and he laughed. "Nothing is too much for you, Miki. If anything, it's not enough." He released me, then pointed toward the Bella Piccola. "Come on, we don't want to miss our chance."  
  
He led me onto the airship, and I steadied myself as it began to rumble. I immediately raced to the bow of the ship and peered over the edge. As the Bella Piccola took flight, I never felt as happy as I did at that moment.  
  
That is, until Blank came to join me.  
  
"Having fun?" he ventured, taking my hand in his.  
  
I smiled. "That is the biggest understatement I have ever heard." Suddenly I closed my eyes at the unwelcome flow of liquid-- my first tears.  
  
"Miki?" Blank said, squeezing my hand. "What's wrong?"  
  
I raised my free hand to wipe away the salty tears as they came unbidden. "I believe I am crying," I said, confused. "But I thought people only cried when they are sad. And I have never been happier."  
  
Blank smiled gently, drying my face with his sleeve. "People cry when they're happy, too."  
  
"Why?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't have all the answers, Miki."  
  
I sniffed and looked down at our clasped hands. As I turned his mismatched fingers slowly in mine, I suddenly looked back up at him. "Blank... Why do you... look the way you do?"  
  
He turned away from me at this. Alarmed that I had hurt him in some way, I tightened my hold on his hand. "I'm sorry, Blank," I said quickly. "I can be so careless sometimes. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."  
  
He smiled at me sadly. "It's okay, I never thought you did. And as for me..." He shook his head. "You don't need to bother asking those questions. No one does."  
  
"But why?" I asked, suddenly frustrated at his evasiveness. "Why won't you reveal anything about yourself? Do you realize that I know next to nothing about your background, your family, your past? I have known you for two months, and yet I have no idea who you are!"  
  
He took a deep breath. "You don't need to know, Mikoto," he said quietly. "Just enjoy the ride. This night is supposed to be for you."  
  
At that he lifted the seat cover from one of the benches and pulled out a blanket. Spreading it out over the deck, he sat down on it and patted the blanket beside him. As the Bella Piccola cruised over Lindblum, we lay side by side on our backs, watching the stars go by overhead.  
  
Blank lifted my tail into his hands, smiling. "Your tail is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen," he said, stroking the fur gently.  
  
But I had barely heard him. As I lay next to him, my head resting on his shoulder, I sighed, snuggling further against him. He was so close to me, and at the same time, so infinitely far away.  
  
  
  
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Yes, it's true, we don't know much about Blank, do we? I wish there was more to his character, because he's pretty cool.  
-Sparrow 


	4. Chapter 4

Can you guess what I'm about to say? If you're thinking that I'm going to say that Final Fantasy IX isn't mine, YOU ARE CORRECT!!  
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love (`luv) n:  
By Trick Sparrow  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
:::Dear Zidane,  
  
I am growing increasingly uneasy thinking about Blank. He has not told me one thing about himself outside of Tantalus. I am writing you as my last hope, as none of the other members have revealed anything about Blank. If you know anything about him, please tell me. I am afraid he would become angry with me if I questioned him further.  
  
I worry about him so much. It's as if it is too painful for him to recount anything of his past aloud. I care about him, as well as his feelings, and I wish there was something I could do to lessen his pain. So if you know anything that I do not, please write me back. Perhaps there might be a way to help him.  
  
Your sister,  
Miki:::  
  
  
I looked over the letter I had written twice. It seemed satisfactory. I went downstairs to deliver the letter, only to find the subject of my letter standing in the foyer.  
  
"Blank!"  
  
He smiled. "Why so surprised, Miki?"  
  
"I-- I did not expect to see you here," I stuttered, hiding the letter behind my back. If he knew what I was planning, he would be indignant beyond words.  
  
Alas, he saw my motions. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, leaning forward to look.  
  
"It's just a letter to Zidane," I said quickly, edging past him to hand the envelope to the moogle. He caught my hand before I could make the transfer.  
  
"What'd you write about?"  
  
I switched the letter to my other hand. "Family matters," I stated simply.  
  
"Can I read it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?" He slid behind me and reached for the letter.  
  
"Blank, this is not funny," I said frustratedly, raising the envelope above my head. Unfortunately, his other hand was waiting, and he plucked it out of mine.  
  
I watched helplessly as he slid the sheet of paper out of the envelope and unfolded it. As he began to read, his expression darkened. Finally he raised his head to look at me. "Why did you write this?" he asked quietly. I flinched at the anger in his voice.  
  
I opened my mouth to speak, but he shoved the letter back into my hands. "You won't get a straight answer from your brother, Mikoto," he said coldly. "So don't even bother sending that."  
  
He turned and walked quickly out the front door. I followed him hastily, pushing it open again. "Blank, wait!"  
  
He continued walking down the street, and I ran after him, refusing to give up. "Please wait, Blank!" I cried, catching him by the arm.  
  
He shrugged my hand off furiously. "Go home, Mikoto."  
  
I sat on the ground in despair as I watched him enter the aircab station and disappear out of sight. I crumpled the letter angrily and threw it away from me, sobbing helplessly.  
  
  
  
I wrote another letter to Zidane, a different letter. It basically recounted my own stupidity, and what I had done to permanently sabotage my friendship with Blank. I had yet to hear from my brother.  
  
After that horrible incident in outside my building, I rarely left my apartment, except to go to work and get groceries. Marcus came over once; perhaps to comfort me, perhaps to reaffirm what he had heard about the girl who had broken his friend's heart. I could not be sure. I had not felt this depressed even when Terra was destroyed. I would have given my right arm to see Blank again. To tell him how sorry I was; to tell him I didn't care if I knew nothing about him, because he still meant the world to me.  
  
Three weeks passed. I did not sleep, I barely even ate. Life was just a swirling pandemonium of background music that I was only half-aware of. I felt as if I had died, and my punishment for my sins was to exist forever in a world without Blank. I never cried that much in my entire fifteen years as I did in those three weeks.  
  
I stared out my window every day, hoping blindly that I would see Blank's patchwork figure walking down the street. I never saw him once. Finally I gave up and collapsed at the kitchen table, exhausted from lack of sleep.  
  
That was when the doorbell rang.  
  
I shook myself awake and scrambled to the door. I swung it open so hard it almost came off its hinges. To my surprise, my brother and his girlfriend stood in hallway, smiling from ear to ear.  
  
"Zidane! Dagger!" I cried, bursting into tears for what seemed like the millionth time in less than a day. I rushed to Zidane and hugged him tightly, hearing his breath explode from him.  
  
"I figured you'd want more from me than a letter," he said, patting my back lightly. I released my stranglehold on him and hugged Garnet just as hard.  
  
She smiled gently. "We're sorry we took so long getting here, Miki. But it takes a lot out of you trying to rebuild a whole kingdom."  
  
I let them inside, clearing the mountain of tissues from the kitchen table and motioning for them to sit down. Garnet watched me with worry. "It looks like you're having a rough time of it," she said quietly.  
  
I groaned. "You have no idea, Dagger. I feel like the worst person in the universe. I would give anything just to see Blank's lopsided smile."  
  
As I sat down at the table, my head buried in my arms, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I raised my head with great effort to see my brother smiling at me. "Everything's going to turn out fine, Miki."  
  
"Fine," I repeated, snorting with disdain. "What exactly is your definition of 'fine'?"  
  
He wrapped his arm around me, rocking back and forth. "Trust me, Sis, Blank will forgive you. He can't stay mad at you forever. He's crazy about you!"  
  
"Zidane," I said wearily, burying my head against his neck, "if you are having doubts about Blank's sanity, let me just--"  
  
Garnet cut me off, laughing. "Sweetie, he didn't mean that. He meant he's got the hots for you."  
  
I looked at her, puzzled. Finally I shook my head. "Forgive me if I do not understand Gaian slang, but if you would be kind enough to translate...?"  
  
"Blank loves you," Zidane blurted. Garnet let out a small gasp.  
  
My mind went reeling. *Blank loves me?* I thought numbly. *No, he doesn't, he hates me.* "Love," I heard myself say. "Warm attachment? Strong affection?" I repeated Blank's definition of love. "An unselfish devotion?"  
  
"Miki?"  
  
Zidane's voice brought me out of my daze. I looked up into his face. "Are you okay?"  
  
"What happened to Blank?" I asked suddenly. Zidane blinked in surprise. "Why does he look the way he does?"  
  
My brother shrugged. "He never told any of the gang about it. The most we ever got out of him was that something happened to him when he was little. I guess he had a pretty rocky childhood."  
  
"And that is all he told you?" Zidane nodded silently, and I rested my head on the table once again. "Blank does not love me," I whispered, feeling hot tears run down my cheeks. "For that I am certain."  
  
Garnet stood up and walked over to me, embracing me tightly. "Miki, we were going to tell you this sooner. We went to the Tantalus headquarters yesterday, before we came to see you. We talked to Blank."  
  
Those four words made my heart leap in my chest. "What did he say?" I asked urgently.  
  
"He's still angry," she admitted. "But he's going nuts being away from you. He wants to see you more than anything. He's just too afraid."  
  
I wrenched free of her embrace and yanked my coat out of the closet. "I have to see him," I said, wiping my face dry. "Thank you both!" I added hastily as I sprinted out the door.  
  
  
  
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Will we find out anything more about Blank?  
-Sparrow 


	5. Chapter 5

Yes, boys and girls, it's that time again, to remind everyone, what? I don't own Final Fantasy IX! Oh yeah, and 'Don't Speak' belongs to No Doubt and Gwen Stefani.  
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love (`luv) n:  
By Trick Sparrow  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
All I thought to do was run. It had begun to rain, but I could have cared less. It was pouring by the time I reached the aircab station, whereupon I waited impatiently inside the machine for it to reach its destination in the Theater District.  
  
You and me  
We used to be together  
Every day together  
Always  
  
I stumbled out of the aircab and raced down the slippery cobblestone street to Tantalus headquarters. Completely oblivious to the fact that I was drenched, I rapped on the heavy doors as hard as I could.  
  
I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe this could be  
The end  
  
The door swung open, and Marcus stood inside, shocked. "Mikoto, you're soaked to the bone! Come in quick, you're going to catch--"  
  
"Where is Blank?" I demanded, interrupting him.  
  
He looked down at the floor, avoiding my eyes. "He left. I'm so sorry, Miki, but I have no idea where he is."  
  
It looks as though  
You're letting go  
And if it's real, well I don't want to know  
  
Fear and dread washed over me like a murky black wave. I could no longer hear Marcus, whom I assumed was still talking, and could no longer feel the fat raindrops pummeling my head, neck, and shoulders. Blank was gone. I would never see his sweet, crooked smile again.  
  
Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
  
"--something about the Bella Piccola, whatever that means--"  
  
"What did you say!?" I asked, scarcely believing my ears.  
  
Marcus blinked. "Blank said something about the Bella Piccola before he left, but I didn't know what he was talking about."  
  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
  
Hope began to swell in my heart; more than I dared possess. I hugged Marcus gratefully and headed back out into the rain-slicked street. "Thank you, Marcus!" I called, running back to the airstation.  
  
Our memories  
They can be inviting  
But some are altogether mighty  
Frightening  
  
Sprinting down the corridors of Lindblum castle, I prayed that Blank had not taken off in the airship. He had mentioned at one time that he used to pilot one of the regent's ships, the Blue Narciss, so I knew he had enough experience to fly the gondola. I just hoped he had not done so.  
  
As we die  
Both you and I  
With my head in my hands, I sit and cry  
  
When I arrived, breathless, at the airstation, I was relieved to see the Bella Piccola anchored to the catwalk, hovering regally even in the pouring rain. And there, at the bow, soaked from head to toe, stood my dear, sweet--  
  
"Blank."  
  
Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
  
He turned at the sound of my voice. As I remained on the catwalk, unmoving under his hidden scrutiny, he finally spoke. "You're drenched, Mikoto."  
  
I smiled, my eyes filling with tears. "I might say the same of you."  
  
Blank continued to stare at me.  
  
"Can I come aboard?" I asked quietly.  
  
He shrugged, almost imperceptibly, and I took this as an affirmative response. I climbed onto the airship and made my way to the bow, where Blank had now sat down unceremoniously on the wet deck. I figured I could not get any wetter, so I sat down at his side.  
  
After an achingly long silence, Blank said, "It hurts to look at you."  
  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
  
His words cut into me like a sharp sickle. "Oh, Blank, I wish you knew how sorry I am," I groaned, closing my eyes. "But I realize that you would not forgive me, even if you *did* know." I took a deep, shuddering breath. "I am such a fool."  
  
Suddenly I felt a cold hand cup itself over mine. I opened my eyes to see Blank smiling at me. That adorable uneven smile. "That's not what I meant," he said softly. "It hurts to look at you because of who I am. You're so frustratingly beautiful-- my 'bella piccola'. When I look in the mirror, I wonder why in God's name you would want to be with me."  
  
I slid my wet arms around his neck, thanking the powers that be that my Blank was returned to me safely. Not daring to let go, I asked, "Do you care about me?"  
  
He drew me closer to him, rubbing my back. "Of course I do, Miki."  
  
"Do you trust me?" I asked, pressing my cold cheek to his.  
  
"Yes."  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the impending reaction: "Then please tell me who you are."  
  
  
  
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Man, did I have fun writing this chapter!  
-Sparrow 


	6. Chapter 6

One more time, people: I am not the owner and/or proprietor of Final Fantasy IX. That privilege belongs to Squaresoft.  
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love (`luv) n:  
By Trick Sparrow  
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
"I've never told anyone this before," said Blank quietly, his arm around me tightly, "but when my mother became pregnant with me, I wasn't the most welcome presence. I'm surprised she didn't just get an abortion. I don't know if my father, whoever he is, knew about me, but I'm sure he never thought twice about my mother after their one night stand." He shook his head in disgust. "She was a slut.  
  
"After I was born, she neglected me as much as humanly possible. She didn't even bother to provide a name for my birth certificate, so the doctors just assumed my name was 'Blank'." He laughed bitterly, and I waited patiently for him to continue. "My mother hated me from the second she saw me. I'm not sure if it was because she had to waste all her money supporting me, or because she couldn't get a single date after guys found out she had a kid, but... one day, she just got sick of it.  
  
"When I was four years old, she took me into one of the back alleys in Treno and dropped me into a garbage can. She didn't want anyone to find out what she had done, so she... lit a match and threw it in."  
  
"Oh, Blank," I whispered, blinking back tears. I wrapped my arm around his chest-- his blessedly intact chest, and closed my eyes, horrified that anyone could do that to their own child.  
  
"Thankfully, someone found me and put out the fire. But by the time I was taken to the hospital, my skin was so badly burnt that the doctors had to do massive skin grafts. That's why--" he held up his hand, "--I look like this. And I'm also half-blind."  
  
Looking up into his face through the falling rain, I was appalled beyond words. Not because of what he had become. To realize how lucky I was to be here, in Blank's arms, when he could very well be long dead, incinerated by his own selfish mother, was almost more than I could bear. I clung to him gratefully, fearful that his precious life might be snatched from me at any moment.  
  
Slowly, hesitantly, he lifted his hands and unbuckled the leather belt. As he lowered it from his face, I saw the Blank that he had never allowed anyone to see. His auburn eyebrows were half-burned away, and there was a mass of shiny scar tissue covering his forehead. His right eye was completely grown shut, his lid melded with the flesh under his eye. An angry red scar streaked across his left eye, which was bloodshot. The iris was a pale, lack-luster grey.  
  
They were the most beautiful eyes had ever seen.  
  
I leaned in close to him and kissed the rain from his ravaged lashes, pressed my lips against those destroyed eyelids. Resting my forehead against his; smooth skin to scarred flesh, I smiled.  
  
"Now I know what love is," I said.  
  
He traced his fingers, his wonderfully mismatched fingers, down my cheek. Lifting my chin up gently, he lowered his lips to meet mine. I gasped softly, enveloped in pure bliss, as he caressed the nape of my neck lightly and deepened the kiss. Burying my fingers in his wet cinnamon hair, I wished for anything but to have to break away.  
  
When Blank finally drew his lips away with a sweet, aching reluctance, he grinned his precious lopsided grin. "I'm cold," he whispered.  
  
  
  
:::Dearest Zidane,  
  
I have you, Dagger, and Marcus to thank for everything. I will write them both letters expressing my gratitude, but for now I just wanted to tell you that *you*, Big Bro, did something that nobody else did: You believed in me.  
  
You knew everything was going to be fine again, and you were right. You always seem to know just what to say, even if it does not always comfort me. Thanks to your faith in me, I am happy. No, more importantly, Blank is happy.  
  
I have sworn him the secrecy of keeping his past between us, but I must tell you something while keeping my promise. He still wears the belt. It saddens me that he cannot come to terms with that which has befallen him, yet I understand why he chooses not to.  
  
At least he is happy, and that is all that matters to me.  
  
I sometimes think I do not deserve to have you for a brother. I snapped at you when you took me from the Black Mage village, but now I cannot imagine life away from Lindblum, my friends... And Blank. I love him, Zidane, and I would never have met him if it had not been for you.  
  
Thank you.  
  
Your little sis,  
Miki:::  
  
  
  
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*reaches for Kleenex box* Oh, my Lord, I'm actually crying. Please... leave a review... Click the little link at the bottom of the screen.  
-Sparrow 


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